I (Dave) have really struggled with sharing this story and message. I wrote this over almost 2 years ago and know that God has put it on my heart to share. It is very real and personal. It is, however, the series of events that lead us on our new journey. I pray that it will lift up your spirits as it is a triumphant story!

Our lives together started out like something from a Hallmark Channel movie.  My (Dave) military career was progressing very well. Emily, my beautiful wife, was working on her nursing degree.  The first 8 years were what you would expect, careers and adding children to our family. We had the struggles of a young married couple, but we were blessed with a love that the gift literary writers would use as inspiration (or at least we think so lol) write about.  I served a tour in Iraq with a Marine unit as an FMF Corpsman, or as the Army says “Combat Medic.” I returned safely home to my family and was meritoriously promoted upon my return.

A year and a half later, we transferred to Pensacola, Florida.  Our family was really flourishing by now.  We had 5 beautiful healthy children and we became known as the “Cunningham Crew.”  I had finally been blessed with the next big promotion (Chief) I had worked so hard to achieve.  Emily finished her nursing degree and started her dream job, as a Labor and Delivery nurse. We loved our church and enjoyed the friendships of our small groups.  We had a marriage and family that people admired…

Then, it seemed, the wheels started to come off.  I had accepted orders that would take us to Washington State, a place we had always wanted to live.  We were 1 week away from transferring.  Emily was 23 weeks pregnant with our 6^th child, Molly.  Emily was working one of her last shifts in L&D before the move.  She hadn’t felt the baby move all day.  The ultrasound confirmed our worst fears and I was awakened by a phone call no husband and father wants to receive.  Baby Molly had died in the womb.   

I had never felt so helpless in my life.  The pain we felt together was almost unbearable. We prayed together and cried together.  Emily is so strong and never asks for much.  She wanted a drink from Sonic and food from Red Robin.  While I was getting her request, I cried out to God and I prayed.  The song “I will Praise You in This Storm” by Casting Crowns  Praise you in this Storm link came on the radio.  So, I praised him in our storm right then and there.  Although we struggled, we never felt abandoned.   Emily’s work family lavished her with love and support.  Our church poured out love and support for us.  My Navy family came alongside us and took care of my orders for the move by having us extended on station for another 3 months.  Even in this most difficult time, we still had peace and knew that God was in control.  This, as it turned out, would be the beginning of our “Difficult Season…”

As we made our move to the Pacific Northwest, Emily transitioned to a new job as well.  Washington was as beautiful as we had hoped and we loved it right away.  Unfortunately, neither one of us liked our new jobs.  During this time, I also found that this tour was my most difficult and challenging to date.  Emily struggled with the much slower pace of her new hospital, but found a way to use the loss of Molly to minister to other families experiencing the loss of a child.  We were leading a small group when I was in town and Emily was homeschooling our kids. 

Through prayer, God began to show us the promise of another child.  Emily felt God spoke to her so clearly that we would have a son and we would name him Samuel, very fitting…  My struggles at work continued but we were blessed with the birth of our baby boy, Samuel, 9 months later.”

For this child I prayed, and the LORD has granted me my petition that I made to him.

1 Samuel 1:27

My schedule started to become more hectic with preparations for deployment.  We were blessed with 6 beautiful healthy children and felt that it was time so we made the decision for me to have a vasectomy.  This, as it turned out, would lead to 6 surgeries in all and the most difficult 4 year period in my life.

Shortly after the minor procedure, I could tell something was not right.  I was in an abnormal amount of pain.  It was believed that I was experiencing pain from two sports hernias.  Surgery number 2 followed shortly after.  This, however, did not take care of my pain.  By now my work struggles had improved tremendously and I was flourishing in my job, but the pain persisted.

Over the next few months, we transferred to St. Louis, MO, where I worked at the Federal building. Even though the last duty station was extremely challenging, I was rewarded with yet another promotion (Senior Chief), Praise God!  Emily went to work for Mercy Hospital; she absolutely loved her job from the start!  I however, began to struggle with the pain even more.  It became increasingly difficult for me to exercise, especially running, something I truly enjoyed.  So, I went to see yet another doctor.  The decision was made to perform an exploratory surgery, surgery number 3.  It was found that nerves had been fused to the Vas Deferens and there were several neuromas.  This was causing the pain or so it was thought.  The surgeon removed a section of nerve as well as the neuromas. 

For a short period of time, this did help with the pain. The pain I had felt in my abdomen was gone, however, the pain in my groin had worsened.  After much consultation, a more drastic approach was decided on, surgery number 4.  It seemed apparent right away that this did not take care of my pain and only seemed to add to it.  Except now, there was the added complication of low testosterone.

During this time, Emily had really started to flourish with her job in L&D and was promoted to Clinical Supervisor.  I had been asked and accepted a position on staff at our church, at the same time the decision was made for me to retire from my Navy Career.  We had friends, a wonderful church, a beautiful family, and really everything we had ever wanted.  The pain, however, was robbing all of us of our joy…

By now, my pain had gotten to the point that I was having difficulty performing daily tasks.  Everything we did revolved around if Daddy could do it.  At a time when I was supposed to be ministering to others, I was sinking into a pit that seemed bottomless.  We prayed almost non-stop.  Our eGroup prayed, our church staff prayed, our entire church prayed.  There seemed a small sliver of hope when the surgeon felt he could remove another section of nerve to alleviate the pain.  So, surgery number 5 was next.

This surgery did nothing but make my pain worse and I really began struggling.  Not only with the pain, but the emotional aspect of things.  I had refused to take pain medication for fear of addiction.  I was, however, on several medications that affected me to the point I was no longer myself.  The meds made intimacy near impossible, and the pain afterward was almost unbearable. 

I was now only a short time away from my official retirement from the Navy.  I had decided not to have a ceremony as I could barely walk by now.  I felt like a ball player that was injured and never got that chance to have a final at bat.  The pain was affecting my ability to articulate and I spent at least half of my faculty just trying to block the pain.  Through all of this, we prayed.  I would say, “I am not sure what God wants me to learn from this but I know it will be revealed in his time.  Although, I could use a text from him right about now! ”

Finally, as I sat awake one night, unable to sleep from the pain and thoughts running through my head, I realized I would have to make an important decision.  The scraps of energy I had each day were being used while working at the church.  I would come home with nothing left in the tank and I was a grumpy husband and father.  I decided to step down from my position at the church.  This, only added to my despair, as I felt I had failed God and our church family.  I wrestled with leaving the our church altogether.  Through prayer, we knew that is what the enemy wanted.  So, we stayed and pushed forward.

During my final two weeks on staff at the church, I had an appointment to meet with a neurosurgeon.  Emily drove me to the office which was over an hour away.  I couldn’t drive myself at this point.  The doctor told me that he had consulted with doctors at Washington University, but no one knew how to treat my problem.

The drive home was difficult for Emily as I hardly spoke the entire trip.  Anyone who knows me, knows it is a rare occasion that I don’t have anything to say.  I had reached a level of despair that I wasn’t sure how to deal with.  I prayed in my head for God not to forsake me and forgive me for doubting him but I was struggling.  I didn’t know what to do.  Was I going to have to resolve to the idea that from now on, this was my life? From being physically fit and active to barely ambulatory?

That evening, Emily went to work.  She sent me a link to look at a website for a surgeon in Baltimore.  He seemed to be the only surgeon in the entire US that specialized in this type of pain. I studied his website and the free literature.  There were testimonies from several men who told almost the same exact story as me.  I tried not to get my hopes up only to be let down again, but something seemed different this time.  On the next Monday, I called the doctor’s office and spoke with his assistant.  She asked me a series of questions and suggested that we set up an appointment.

The next series of events would require even more faith.  It seemed that this doctor could help, but it was a long process to get things set up.  At this time, the Navy agreed to extend my time on Active Duty for three more months to allow me to possibly have one more surgery.  There was a catch though.  The doctor did not accept insurance and the fees would total near $20,000 dollars.  There would also be the expense for the trip and hotel.  The doctor’s office helped me get together what I would need for the insurance to reimburse me, but we would have to pay the initial cost out of pocket.  Emily never hesitated and said that God would make a way.  We prayed and started moving forward.

Our church family and the church staff especially really spent quite a bit of time praying for me and with me.  They laid hands on me and prayed for healing and peace.  We needed several things to go right just to get to the point of surgery.  I would need to travel to Baltimore.  The next bit of news was wonderful, my Navy command would pay for this trip to have this surgery as I was still on active duty.  I would only need to pay for Emily’s ticket.  Praise God and thank you Navy!  However, when I got to Baltimore, I would have to have a consult and then an MRI guided nerve block to establish which of 2 possible nerves were the culprit. 

I had the nerve block conducted and afterwards the pain was still there.  At this point I began to doubt that another surgery was a good idea, especially one that was so expensive.  I voiced my concerns but the surgeon insisted that because the block did not work on the one nerve, it had to be the other.  Surgery was scheduled for the next day.  Emily and I went back to the hotel and prayed.  We asked for discernment on what to do and peace for whatever we decided.  We had come all this way, so, I had surgery number 6 just two weeks from my official retirement date from the Navy.

As I awoke from surgery, I was in quite a bit of pain from the three incisions that the surgeon had made.  However, I could tell right away that the pain that had plagued me for so long was gone!  I would still have quite a bit of recovery to do.  The surgeon told me I should not run but start swimming for rehab, but I should be able to have a more “normal” life now even if I was not completely back to what I once was.  I still have pain on my left side and there are things I will always have to deal with, but it is nothing compared to what I had gone through.  Next, God came through again, as we received a check from our insurance for the entire amount that we had spent on the surgery! 

A few months after the surgery, our Worship Leader, Champ, asked me what I had taken away from the experience.  At the time I realized that I had not really thought about the lesson I was supposed to learn.  I began to pray and meditate about this quite a bit.  Then one day it hit me like a ton of bricks!  Emily told me that I had to hear the new song by Mercy Me “Even If .”Even If link  This song reaches so many people for the same reason as me, because I felt the words were speaking right to me.  Even if!  This was my take away and our family’s take away from this famine.  Even if he chose not to heal me, I would still love and trust him.  Even if, he chose not to take away the sorrow and hurt, we would still love him!  I had made a decision that I would show my kids that I trusted God no matter what. My hope was this would be an example for them as they face trials of their own in the future. During this time, Emily showed what it meant to love unconditionally through sickness and health. She supported me and did all of the “heavy lifting” both metaphorically and literally.

“For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow.”

James 1:3

I had lunch with Champ not long after all of this had come to pass. We discussed what my take away was and what God had shown us.  Emily and I realized that we needed to tell our story!  Not to glorify ourselves and draw attention to us but for the same reason song writers share their wonderful and inspirational lyrics. It was during this time that Champ would write the song “In Control” that was featured on our church’s first worship album. Click the link Encounter Music link This song is one of my favorites on the album, but they are all great!  It is to inspire, give hope, and encourage others to not give up. So, we shared our story for the first time on stage with Champ and our Encounter Church Congregation and the worship band played “In Control.”  This was met with great support from our church family and opened the door for us to minister to another family that was experiencing a similar trial.

Sharing our story was one of the first steps that led us to this great adventure that the “Cunningham Crew” is now on.  It helped me to appreciate the things that I had taken for granted.  I realized that a big house and material things were not important.  I wanted us to experience all that God had in store for us.  So, we took a leap of faith.  We sold our house, paid off a significant amount of debt, and are now on the “Trip” as we have come to call it.  We are still not sure how God plans to use us during this time, but we are trying to be open to all that he has for us and hope to bless others along the way.

We are truly following our family life verse Ecclesiastes 3:1

“There is a time for everything and a season for every activity under Heaven”

Ecclesiastes 3:1